Are You Working Hard Not To Focus On Work?
"My life is a lump!" The person on the call was a colleague who was lamenting how their work-life satisfaction had shifted so much since working from home so much. She even had the audacity to challenge the three rings model I share in my book, Juggling Elephants (No offense taken). "Working from home while I was already working remotely with a global team is requiring extended work hours and has reduced my life to one ring-WORK!" To be fair, she did also mention that she was grateful to still have a job.
Her plight mirrors what I often hear from those with Type A personalities who have stayed working remotely. While there are some serious benefits, there are still some challenges. The previous boundaries of physical distance from a workplace, driving to/from work, and frequently engaging in non-work conversations are gone. Add the uncertainty of their children's schedules and social activities, is it any wonder these driven individuals are turning to work to give them that sense of accomplishment and fulfillment? As someone who has worked from home for over 28 years I can empathize with their choices.
As my friend on the phone highlights, however, this "always on work mode" isn't healthy. We desperately need to get into those other rings of "self" and "relationships" on a consistent basis to be at our best. We might neglect those other two rings for awhile, but eventually the lack of physical, mental, and emotional renewal that comes from those areas of our life will impact our work performance.
If you're still reading you are either nodding your head in agreement or thinking of someone you know who really should be reading this article. Either way, here are my suggestions on how you can begin carving out some much needed time in those other two rings:
Force yourself out of work mode.
When I get a personal call during work and choose to take it, I get up and walk away from my desk or work area. It's a routine I've turned into a habit over the years. I find that if I stay at my desk I'm reminded of all the things that aren't getting done instead of focusing on having a meaningful conversation. If I make a personal call or even send a long text to someone that isn't work-related, I step away from my work area.
Set recurring alarms for times of the day you should disengage from work for a few minutes.
Create barriers to getting into work mode. One person on a webinar a few weeks ago shared that when they need to stop work they turn off their laptop, put a blanket over their work area, and then put a potted plant on top of it. You might also pack up your stuff and put it in your car or garage when you want to stop work. Anything that can increase your resistance to jumping back into that next task.
Create small yet meaningful non-work moments throughout the day.
I remember coaching an ambitious HR manager who was frustrated with their lack of exercise. As a former college athlete, they had this lofty goal of 45 minutes of exercise each day. I asked them, "Could you take 15 minutes at lunch to walk around the parking lot at your company?" Their reply was, "Sure, but that's not very much exercise," to which my reply was simply, "It's more than you're doing now!" As a frequent over-achiever, doing the small and seemingly insignificant might not feel like much, but it's at least a step in the right direction. An insightful article that offers several fresh ideas on this idea of meaningful non-work moments is Maintain Work-Life Balance While Working Remotely.
Think forward to the end of your day.
Complete this sentence each morning as you think about your day: "At the end of the day I want to feel _______________________." Don't let yourself stop with one word-because you'll probably lead with "productive." Try to come up with at least 3-4 words and then determine what choices you could make to more likely have those feelings when you're ready to go to sleep.
Tell people what you're getting done.
Working remotely has reduced some of the incidental conversations we have about what we are working on or have gotten accomplished. Those moments are important because they help with that sense of accomplishment, which in turn encourages us to be willing to step out of work mode to celebrate, if nothing else. Be willing to talk more openly about what you're getting done (especially to those who will celebrate with you) to remind yourself that you are being productive.
Finally, engage in activities that touch your heart. I know that sounds a little "squishy" to say in a business article, but events or moments like that in our day get us thinking about what's most important to us. They help us reconnect with our purpose and governing values. They serve as a check up on the alignment between what we say is important and what we are actually getting done. I don't know about you, but I find that people who have that type of clarity are able to achieve success in all three rings of their life.